Quarreling among siblings may often be a result of their ages or stages of development. For example, the endless "why?" questions of a three-year-old may be intolerable for a ten-year-old sister or brother. Or, a small child who likes to sit quietly and play with their toys alone may naturally express annoyance when confronted by a headstrong adolescent sibling.

Another basic cause of contention is rivalry and jealousy among siblings. After all, jealousy has been a human condition since the beginning of time. Some people are mature and fully grown, but still retain anger and resentment against those close to them. Since they have not been able to get over their childhood jealousy, feelings of resentment and envy have grown and changed shape; these could even be a threat to the community.

Sibling rivalry arises from a desire to compete for the affection of the parents. If one child is shown a great deal of affection by the parents, the other children will be jealous. But children do not demonstrate feelings of jealousy in a direct manner. A jealous child may feign affection toward their sibling. Such a child will often be inclined to try to hurt the brother or sister when no one else is around.

In the famous story in the Qur'an about Joseph, Joseph's brothers tried to harm him, spurred on by jealousy. The Qur'an says,

"Assuredly, in (this account of) Joseph and his brothers there are many sans (messages) for seekers of truth" (Yusuf 12:7).

As is well known, Prophet Jacob fathered twelve sons. However, Jacob discerned great potential in Joseph and therefore he paid greater attention to Joseph. Because this was obvious, the other brothers' jealousy grew against Joseph. One night Joseph had a dream. When he woke he said to his father,

"0 my father! I saw in a dream eleven stars, as well as the sun and the moon: I saw them prostrating themselves before me" (Yusuf 12:4).

Jacob thought about this dream, and he believed it meant God would give Joseph every kind of opportunity, bestowed on him a high level of honor and renown, and make him an important leader. Aware of the feelings of the other brothers toward Joseph, Jacob feared they would try to harm him. So he told him,

"0 my son! Do not relate your dream to your brothers, lest (out of envy) they devise a scheme against you. For Satan is a manifest enemy to humankind (and can incite them to do such a thing)" (Yusuf 12:5). The Qur'an goes on to describe the plan the brothers hatched, a terrible example of just how far jealousy between siblings can go:

When they (the brothers addressing one another) said, "Joseph and his brother are indeed more loved by our father than we are, even though we are a powerful band (of greater use to him). Surely, our father is manifestly mistaken." (One of them said:) "Kill Joseph, or cast him out in some distant land so that your father's attention should turn only to you, and after that you may again become righteous people." (Yusuf 12:8-9)

It is the duty of parents to recognize when a child is jealous, and watch for how it will be expressed. From this aspect, keeping tabs on the relations between siblings and keeping their bickering under control can be a very difficult task for a family.

Undeniably, jealousy is an emotion that is embedded in human nature. The important thing is to prevent this negative element from causing damage to children and their environment. The way to do this is to channel these tendencies toward the positive with self-discipline. It is difficult to put forward any general, practically feasible solutions for such situations, as they are very sensitive and complex. It is of course necessary, in principle, for parents to listen to children, try to understand the reasons for their behavior, and examine their own attitudes and approaches. Parents should develop the ability to see situations and conditions from their children's perspective.

Other things parents can do to neutralize jealousy are to prepare games that will help children spend their physical and emotional energy in positive ways and to praise children when they get along well and have fun together. Here are a few more tips:

1. Avoid incorrect educational methods. For example, do not always take the part of the younger sibling or automatically blame the older sibling. Often if you intervene just to "save" the younger child, it gives rise to contention between them without you realizing it. Further, you may not know whether it was actually the older child who instigated the problem or not. Accordingly, sensitivity and attention are necessary if we are to treat children equally. It is also good to give them a chance to solve their own problems; tell them you trust them to do so.

2. Be sure to spend equal amounts of time with each child every day. If one is jealous of the other's time, tell them that you want to be with each child and their turn will come.

3. Take care to make a distinction between siblings, and not to hold the others responsible when only one is doing something wrong.

4. Avoid giving different treatment to girls and boys, giving more importance to one or the other or being more proud of one or the other. For example, parents may have a son after many daughters or a daughter after many sons; in such situations they tend to love this youngest more or show more tolerance toward them. This naturally promotes problems between the children.

Excerpted from the book "Good Character" by Musa Kazim Gulcur.

Source: www.islamicity.com

It is rare for people to live together under one roof without any arguments, but reconciliation is better and correcting oneself is a virtue.

What shakes the unity of the family and harms its infrastructure is when conflicts are brought out into the open before the members of the family, who then split into two or more opposing camps, not to mention the psychological harm that is done to children, especially little ones.

Think about a home where the father says to the child, “Do not speak to your mother,” and the mother says to him, “Do not speak to your father.”

The child is confused and filled with turmoil, and the entire family lives in an atmosphere of hostility. We should try to avoid conflict, but if it happens, we should try to hide it.

Things to consider

• Stop and think about what you’re teaching your children - most likely aggression, stubbornness and selfishness.


• In the heat of the moment, Shaytan may try and justify what you are doing. You should seek refuge in Allah from Shaytan and stop justifying it!


• You have a choice: either follow your temporary desires or love your children. When you fight in front of your children, you are putting your selfish needs in front of your children.


• Fighting will occur sometimes in every marriage, however you should do it away from the children. If your children think marriage is all about arguing and fighting, this may lead them to put off getting married when they get older. This may in turn cause them to form illegitimate relationships.


• The children don’t care who’s right, they just want to see their parents happy


• You may be able to turn conflicts into something beneficial. If your children see you discussing issues with your partner in a controlled and open manner, insha Allah they will grow up to be reasonable and considerate people.

We ask Allaah to create love between our hearts.

Source: http://islam4parents.com/

By Umm Hibathain

Bismillahi Ar-Rahmani Ar-Raheem

Alhamdulillah, this New Year's weekend, we were able to invest our time in a very beneficial vacation. We drove to Sacramento for a conference and the theme was the title you see above. The Youth of our Ummah is our kids. As parents, one can never read or learn enough about parenting, its challenges, responsibilities, how one should tackle problems, what are the problems of today etc....A parent is always yearning to hear new techniques, methods and tips subhanAllah...And this is because of many reasons:

1. You love your kids to death. You want the best for them always. You want the best for them in this duniya, and if you yourself firmly believe in the aakhirah and its eternity, you want the best for them in the aakhirah too.

2. A muslim parent think of this blessing (the blessing of having a child to invest into) as a trust from Allah. And as with anything that has been entrusted, you want to make sure you keep it safe, protect it from external harm.

3. Having a righteous child who will make dua for you, is one of the three things mentioned in the hadeeth An-Nabiyyu Sallallahu alaihiwassalam, that the reward of which will continue to culminate. I see it as a kind of selfishness on the parent's part for wanting to have a righteous child- the greed for continuous reward.

Some pointers on how we can do our best in ensuring our kids will be on the straight path- the path that Allah wants us to tread on:

1. Proper Communication with them:

Usually, when we talk about good communication skills, we think of the best manner to convey your message, having eye contact while you speak, using the language that is easy to understand. Well, you do not have proper communication skills even if you master the art of speech till you have also mastered the art of listening. Being a good listener needs much more training than being a good speaker. And some of the elements needed are lot of patience, a sincere interest in the other person and controlling your inner force that tells you "You have to make your point". As Sheikh Yasser Fazzaqa (Hafidhahullah) said, the person is more important than the point.

Listen to your child. Only through listening will you know your child. If we do not listen to them whne they are really young, you will not be able to hear them as they enter their teens. Its going to be too late and will leave you to fret over "I cannot understand my 15 year old." Your child must be given the freedom of conveying her feelings, emotions and discussing everything that happens in his/her life.

Also, to bring them up to be a listener of what you, as a parent, say to them, you have to teach them to listen. And the only way to teach them that is by practising it yourself inshAllah.

2. Mutual respect:

Well, the goal is for them to respect you since you are the parent. But again, the best way to teach how to respect is by respecting them (and hence, the mutual respect). Respect their feelings, their visions; let them have a say in family matters especially if it is concerning them. Give them a choice, allow them to choose from within their limits.

There is one aspect of respect which can become fear of the parent. This is dangerous, and it can lead them to become liers and hypocrites. This is a scary line for myself to draw. But if parents could always remember not to be imposing or dictating, it could help inshAllah. "Because I said so" should not be the reason for their obedience. Rather there is a higher ultimate reason- it is not good for you, Allah loves for you to do that/avoid that and Allah's Magnificient promise of reward.

3. You are what your friends are:

Man, in general, is impressionable- let alone kids. We get influenced by the people we hang out with. And we always want to belong to a niche. A group where we feel comfortable and cozy at. Especially for our young ones, they sometimes feel more at home- not at home, but with their peer group. They have a lot in common. With this in mind, we need to:

a. Be a friend for them.

Lower yourself to them, where they feel comfortable establishing a friendship with you (ofcourse while being a matured parent too) Try to be in their shoes.

b. Make sure you connect them with kids whose parents share your values too.

c. Just like how "Home Sweet Home", let "Masjid Sweet Masjid" be too- because thats where they meet nice people.   

Let trips to the Masjid be a way to reward your children when they have behaved well. There are many reasons for this to be a rewarding experience: Khalas and Ammus (Aunties) say "MashAllah, you look cute/ you are so good" etc. The Imam/ Sheikh/random people giving the child candies, lollipops (which I am starting to have a problem with). Alhamdulillah, our masjid has a nice cafeteria, a playground and it would be nice for all community builders to have structures like these built in the Islamic Center/ adjoining the masjid. (Youth rooms where they can chill, relax, read, hang out with halal friends, maybe play some halal video games etc. is another luring attraction for the youth)

Dont decide on one fine day that you need to take your child to the masjid because lately he/she is not being good, and so he needs some discipline, and so "Baba is taking you to masjid". This would sound like a punishment.

Masjid should be a frequent thing if not everyday.

Masjid should not be a rare thing like Sunday school.

4. And Sunday school is not what our beautiful deen is:

There are these 2 kids I love a lot (and my heart goes out to them). I pray that Allah increases them in their knowledge and deen, and make them a positive influence for their families and their community. So they go for Sunday school and they experience the beauty and purity of our Deen alhamdulillah. They love what they learn there. They love to try out and practise what they learn there. It makes them feel good about themselves, they feel happy when they think about pleasing Allah.

At home, its different. SubhanAllah! Their parents mashAllah give a lot of consideration in providing them with the best provisions, enrolling them in programmes that will develope their personality and can be added to their list of achievements for this Dunya. But when it comes to Deen, its a "Sunday school" thing.

Islam is too beautiful and perfect to implement only when needed. Islam is a complete way of life. Islam is the way that will beautify one's aakhirah too.

5. Which made me remember: Avoid contradictions- between what they are taught and they see in their role models- The Parents

When they see contradictions, they reduce deen to a text book science. It even promotes a hypocritic nature.

For example: They are taught the importance of Salah. And they notice the parents go to sleep before praying Isha.

6. Educate them about the challenges they will face according to their age.

Exposing them to the challenge is a risky way to teach, in my opinion. But if they are not exposed, they won't know. Or they will come to know from the very same people we do not want to hear from/ learn from. So we need to educate them in the best possible manner according to their age.

For example: Drug Abuse and addiction is fast spreading to very young kids, even to 8 year olds. So, dont hesitate to educate them about it.

Talk to them about Gender Relations, Alcohol, Music- their bad effects and how Allah has made harmful things haram for us.

Educate them that Allah wants only good for us, and He wants to protect us from harm, and that is why Islam has rules, obligations and laws which we need to follow for safguarding ourselves.

These are just some points I wanted to talk about, but in conclusion we should also remember that Allah Azza Wajal commanded us to save ourselves first and then He Subhanahu Wa ta'ala mentioned our families:

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا قُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا

"Oh you who has believed, protect yourself and your families from the Fire". (Surah At-Tahreem: 6)

So, nurturing first should start at the individual level, then the kids. On the Day of Qiyamah, we will stand alone, each accountable for what he/she has done. No matter how righteous our child would have grown upto be, it will not avail us if we are not practising righteousness ourselves.

May Allah accept our dua, and a'mal what we do for His Sake. May He make us and our children among the swaliheen, shuhada', anbiya' and give us th best companionship in Jannathul Firdaws....aameen

Wa aakhir da'wana anil hamdu lillahi rabbil 'aalameen.

Source: http://letstriveforjannah.blogspot.com

1. Knowledge of and love for Allah and the deen. This is one of the most precious and enduring gifts you can pass down to your daughter, one that will benefit her in this life and the next.

2. Memorisation of the Qur’an. No matter how little you have memorised yourself, push your daughter to memorise as much she can. Encourage her and help her to revise. It will stand her in good stead in her life and will be a source of reward for you after your death as well.

3. A good example of Muslim womanhood. Most girls look to their mothers for guidance. Embody the characteristics of a strong, faithful Muslimah and she will be inspired to follow your example.

4. A sense of self-worth and self-esteem. Instil a sense of confidence in your child by encouraging her skills, talents and personality to develop. Make her feel secure in her identity and show her that she is loved and appreciated. This will have a positive impact on her future relationships and how she interacts with the world.

5. A sense of modesty. Instil a love for hijab in your daughter and encourage her to be modest, never boastful or conceited, in all areas of her life.

6. Your language. If you speak Arabic, be sure to teach it to her so that she has the key to the understanding of the Qur’an. Also, if you have a mother tongue or speak a second language yourself, pass it on: a second or third language is always an asset, whether in a study, work or social environment.

7. A skill that you have. If you are an avid gardener, knitter or love painting, pass your skill onto your daughter. With so many ‘traditional’ skills being lost in today’s fast-paced world, you owe it to her to share your knowledge and pass it on to the next generation.

8. Your favourite recipes. Yes, teach your daughter how to cook! Be it from a cookbook, an original recipe or passed down from your mother or even your grandmother, we all have our own trademark recipes: pass them on to your daughter and encourage her to develop some specialities of her own.

9. Housekeeping skills. Instil good housekeeping habits in all your children and encourage them to take pride in a neat and tidy home. Pass any tricks or shortcuts on so that your daughter is well-equipped when she has a home of her own.

10. Your family history. Give her a sense of her roots and heritage by sharing your family story with her. Acquaint her with her family tree and teach her the lessons learned by the different generations. Hopefully, she will do the same with her children, insha Allah.

Source: www.idealmuslimah.com

|Hinâ' al-Hamrânî|

"You will not eat anything today until the Sun sets." Such a declaration can be dreadfully frightful to a small child. It seems like a very, very long time. Many adult Muslims can recall the first Ramadan fast they observed when they were children. It is often a poignant memory. The difficulty of that day is easy to recall. Nevertheless, when the fast is successfully accomplished for the first time, the sense of triumph and of joy felt on that day is cherished for life.

One woman recalls that day as follows:

It was all a very long time ago, yet I can still remember some of the details of that day. I remember standing all puffed up with pride between my brothers. I was the only one fasting. Shortly before sunset, they brought sweets and gathered round to eat them. I just couldn't resist. That day, I broke my fast. The next day, I steeled myself up for the challenge. On that second day I triumphed, and may Allah be praised.

Another woman relates this memory:

Who could forget those days? Fasting was very difficult for us. If our families found out that we were fasting, they would forbid us and force us to eat. To tell the truth, I couldn't resist the smell of food. That was enough to make me break my fast.

A third has this childhood memory to share:

I woke up late one day in Ramadan. It was, as a matter of fact, in the afternoon. I felt extremely hungry, but I resolved to fast. Later in the afternoon, my mother sent me to the neighbors to borrow some drink mix powder from them. On the way back, I was so hungry that I ate the drink mix powder.

Another woman shares this memory:

The days were very long. I used to climb onto the roof of the house in the late afternoon to watch the Sun go down.

Some Motherly Advice

A number of mothers share with us their experiences with teaching their children how to fast. One mother tells us:

I would get them used to fasting by constantly reminding them of the blessings and rewards that a fasting person receives. I would teach them the wisdom behind fasting. I would also encourage them by preparing for them their favorite foods to break their fasts with. As the day progressed, I would keep them busy with beneficial tasks, and as the time for breaking the fast grew near, I would keep them preoccupied by playing with them. A final strategy was that I would instill in them a spirit of competition. The children would vie with each other as to who would fast the greatest number of days.

Another mother has this to share:

I would try to give my children strength by telling them things like: "When we were small, we would see our mother fasting, so we would fast along with her." I would remind them of the blessings that they would receive and that our beloved prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) used to fast.
A third mother tells us:

Every time a child was about to eat something, I would remind that child of the fast. I recall one singularly humorous incident. I saw my little girl put a piece of gum in her mouth, so I reminded her that she is fasting. So she spit out the gum, looked at it for a while, then quickly put it back in her mouth and swallowed it. Then she looked at me and said: "That solves the problem."

The Example of Our Pious Predecessors

The best example of raising children is that of our Pious Predecessors. They brought up the greatest of generations. Al-Rabî`, the daughter of Mu`awwadh tells us [Sahîh al-Bukhârîand Sahîh Muslim]:

We used to fast and have our children fast. When we went to the mosque, we would give them cloth toys to play with. Whenever a child would cry for food, we would give that child the toys. We would do this until it was time to break the fast.

This shows that the Pious Predecessors did not simply impose fasting on their children. They looked for ways to occupy their children's time and make the fast easy upon them.

Is My Child Ready to Fast?

Fasting is more difficult for some children than it is for others. Children who have a weak constitution might not be able to fast. Likewise, children who normally need to eat frequently can find fasting difficult. Children who are extra active in their play are also among those who have trouble fasting. It is the job of the parents to determine whether their children are ready to fast. They know their children's health. However, the parents should not be lax in the matter. As long as a child is in good health, the child can be introduced to fasting in some manner or another.

Dr. Rashâd Lâshîn has the following advice for making the fast easy upon our children:

Between seven and nine years of age, it is possible to gradually introduce children to the fast. At the beginning, they can be encouraged to fast until 10 AM. Then the time can be increased until the time of the Zuhr prayer, then until the time of the `Asr prayer. At this point, we can encourage them, saying: "Come on, be brave. Keep up the fast until sunset and complete it all the way."

A healthy ten year old child can handle the fast. Medically, his body is able to handle cope with it. We can say to a child at this age: "Come on. Show us how brave and strong you are. Do something really great and fast the whole day."

It is important for us as parents to adopt the following measures so that our children can get the maximum benefit from their attempts at fasting – and not develop instead their skills at lying and deception:

1. We must work to instill in our children's heart the desire to fast. This means that compulsion is out of the question. Forcing them to fast is no way to develop their inner selves. Instead, it can cultivate ugly character traits like hypocrisy, lying, cowardice, and deceit.

2. Positive reinforcement works wonders and can make it much easier to get our children to fast. Praise and encouragement are strongly recommended. Prizes – both material and honorary – can be awarded to the children.

3. A great way to encourage our children is to cultivate a competitive spirit among them. This is especially effective when the children have peers who are fasting and who are praying in the mosque.

4. We must not neglect using the gradual approach with our children. This approach should be used so that the child steadily advances to the point of fasting a full day.

"I am fasting, Mom" (but only when you can see me)

What is a mother to do when she discovers that her child has not been observing the Ramadan fast, but has been lying?

Dr. Hiba `Îsâwî, a professor of Psychology at the `Ayn Shams School of Medicine, addresses this question. She stresses that the fasting of small children is a mother's responsibility, since the children are too young to understand the importance of the fast. Therefore, when a mother discovers that her child has been eating in secret, she should do the following:

1. Encourage the child's fasting by giving the child an allowance for each day successfully fasted.

2. Do not confront the child because of the mistake. Do not call the child a liar. Instead, inform the child indirectly – by using stories of others – just how serious it is to break the Ramadan fast and to lie.

3. Do not expect a small child to fast a full day from the onset. Increase the duration of the child's fast in increments, according to the child's age and ability.

4. When the child fasts, make sure to praise the child and to give the child recognition in front of the rest of the family.

5. Encourage the child to fast by only permitting fasting people to have the privilege of sitting at the table at the time of breaking the fast. In this way, the child will understand that breaking the fast early is a big mistake.

6. Do not place sweets and displays of food within the child's line of vision before the time of breaking the fast. There is no need to weaken the child's resolve with such temptations.

7. Cultivate a religious and celebratory atmosphere at home. Let the child sense the importance of this month by making it different that the other months of the year. Ramadan should be something special.

By Humaira

“Verily, We have sent it down as an Arabic Qur'ân in order that you may understand. We relate unto you (Muhammad SAW) the best of stories through Our Revelations unto you, of this Qur'ân. And before this (i.e. before the coming of Divine Revelation to you), you were among those who knew nothing about it (the Qur'ân) “[12: 1-3]

Hiba was a bright kid, fond of reading books, and now that her summer holidays had begun, she was excited about getting to read other books.

She found a shelf in which her mother kept the different kind of books. She had discovered it long before, but was too busy with school work and Quran lessons to sit down and read them.
One day she asked her mother if she could go and get a book from the shelf to read.

`Yes, of course.’Amina answered as she was cooking something in the kitchen.

Hiba quickly went in, grabbed a story book and began reading.

Amina had already read that book; it was a story of a beautiful princess who had got transformed into a monkey by some jinn and a prince found her... In short - a castle in the air that wouldn’t have done any good to Hiba. Well enough, Amina thought it was a waste of time for her daughter to read such stories. In fact, she wanted her daughter to read the Holy Quran, but when she saw the interest of her daughter in that book she let her read, and decided to deal with it another day.

Only for the next two days Hiba was found with the story book, after which she lost interest in it.

Where is your book, Hiba?’

‘I finished reading it’- answered Hiba.

`And did you like the story?’

`No mama, I didn’t quite  like it.’

Amina was surprised how her daughter didn’t find the book interesting although it was appropriate for her age - something most kids would love reading.

'I don’t know Mama...but I didn’t enjoy reading it.’
 
Amina was actually relieved to hear that from her daughter. She asked Hiba,`Should I then show you a book that has beautiful stories, you would enjoy reading?’

Hiba anxiously replied that she would love to.

Amina gave her the Holy Quran.

SubhanAllah! Hiba opened it. Her little hands were holding onto the Qur’an so tightly...

Amina was constantly making du’a: “Oh Allah, may my children always hold on to the Qur’an and gain benefit and guidance from it - Ameen”

Hiba’s curiosity bursted... `Mama, where should I start from?’ 

 `Surah Ash-Shuara, chapter 26 tells the story of Prophet Musa, peace be upon him. It is a very beautiful chapter and we can together read it and learn a lot from it.’
 
Amina opened Surah Ash-Shuara and made Hiba read it.

Hiba eventually got so engrossed  reading that she forgot what was going around her.

Amina sighed with a relief. AlhamduLillah! She went back to the kitchen to finish what she was doing.

After a while, Amina asked Hiba, “So did you like reading the Qur’an?”

`Yes mama, very much!’ she replied.

Amina then told her, “when I was a kid and had started reading the Qur’an, I also felt the same. It is indeed interesting and is a guide, which when followed, makes us the best of human beings...’

Hiba told her mother the story she read and both of them discussed the events and the characters.

"We send down (stage by stage) in the Qur'an that which is a healing and a mercy to those who believe: to the unjust it causes nothing but loss after loss." [17:82]

Indeed...the Qur’an is guidance,Wisdom, Strength, Healing, Mercy and lot more, for those who read it and follow it so why delay? Let our children hold it and read it until it becomes the life of their souls and the light of their hearts.

The prophet (peace be upon him) used to seek Allah’s protection for Al-Hasan and Al-Husain by saying to them: “I seek protection for you in the perfect words of Allah from every devil and every beast, and from every envious blameworthy eye” – Al-Bukhari 4/119

Just as a child should be taught ritual acts of worship, he should also be taught good habits and etiquettes until they become second nature to him.

The Prophet, salla Allahu alihi wa sallam, said: "The believers who have the most perfect faith are those who have the best manners." [Abu Daawood]

Good manners are an acquired trait that must be adopted from a young age. Of such manners are the following:

1. Being respectful and dutiful to parents:

The first person from whom a child learns good manners is the father. If a child is raised in a good Islamic home, then it would be natural for him to treat his parents respectfully.

Allaah Says (what means): "And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them reach old age in your life, never say 'uff’ (an expression of displeasure), nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And humble yourself to them out of mercy and say, 'My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small.'" [Quran, 17:23,24]

2. Maintaining good relations with relatives:

Sound cultivation also stipulates teaching children to maintain good relations with their relatives.

Allaah Says (what means): ''Worship Allaah and associate none with Him in worship, and do good to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, the needy, the neighbor who is near of kin, the neighbor who is a stranger, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (you meet), and those (slaves) whom your right hands possess. Verily, Allaah does not like such as are proud and boastful. " [Quran, 4:36]

The fulfillment of this Divine command can be accomplished only by sound cultivation which makes them grow attached to their relatives out of obedience to Allaah.

Since relatives are an extension of the family, then strengthening ties with them strengthens the whole family and it is like strengthening the whole community and this reflects an Islamic community that enjoys a cohesive structure. The Prophet, salla Allahu alihi wa sallam, said: "The example of the believers in their reciprocal love and mercy is like a human body, when one of its organs suffers, the rest of the body remains awake and suffers fever." [Muslim]

3. Inculcating brotherly love:

Brotherly love and believers' solidarity must be embedded in children's minds and that the believers are brothers-in-faith. For example to follow the pious predecessors, the Muhajireen and the Ansaar, radi Allahu anhum, whose brotherly love and altruism Allaah commands in His Book.

Giving a friendly gesture or a happy greeting to Muslim brothers generates friendliness in their hearts and, strengthens the love among the believers. This indeed is a fine trait, which is instructed by Allaah, the Exalted. He describes the believers by saying (what means): "Muhammad is the Messenger of Allaah, and those who are with him are severe against disbelievers, and merciful among themselves…" [Quran, 48:29]

Allaah also addressed His Messenger, salla Allahu alihi wa sallam, saying (what means):

"Had you been severe and harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about you…" [Quran, 3:159]

4. Guarding the tongue:

Giving a good word is a type of remembrance of Allaah, telling the truth, guarding one's own tongue against slandering other Muslims are good deeds. The best Muslim, according to the Prophet, salla Allahu alihi wa sallam, is the one from whose tongue the Muslims feel safe.

Parents should make their children aware of the gravity of abusing others with their tongue and of the fact that the tongue is a double-sided and dangerous weapon. Therefore, they should be warned in particular against abusing it.  

5. Warning children against backbiting and slandering:

Children should be taught that backbiting is speaking slanderously about an absent person. The Prophet, salla Allahu alihi wa sallam, said: "Do you know what back biting is?” They (companions) said: "Allaah and His Messenger know best." He, salla Allahu alihi wa sallam, said: "It is to attribute to your brother what he dislikes." He, salla Allahu alihi wa sallam, was asked: "What do you think if what I say about my brother is true?" He, salla Allahu alihi wa sallam, said: "If what you attribute to him is true, then you have backbitten him, and if it is not true, then you have lied about him." [Muslim]

While talebearing is to circulate slanderous rumors between two persons to damage or sever the ties between them. The Prophet, salla Allahu alihi wa sallam, said: "Talebearer will not be admitted to Paradise." [Muslim]

Deriding people in their presence by making negative facial expressions or by hand gestures while they are unaware is also forbidden in Islam.

6. Warning children against lying:

Children must be taught to tell the truth and to keep away from lying, which is the most horrible habit. The Prophet, salla Allahu alihi wa sallam, said: "There are four traits whoever possesses them is a sheer hypocrite, and he who possesses one of them, possesses a trait of hypocrisy unless he quits it. They are: when he speaks, he lies; and when he enters into an agreement, he acts unfaithfully; when he promises, he breaches his promise; and when he litigates, he behaves treacherously. While the liar receives the anger of Allaah on the Day of Resurrection." [Al-Bukhaari]

Parents should not take this evil habit lightly, or consider it funny when their children tell lies because later on, it becomes easy for them to lie without any compunction.

7. Abusing others:

Among the worst of manners is reviling people and swearing at them. If this bad habit is not redressed while the child is growing up, it becomes hard for him to avoid it later on.

Islam enjoins guarding the tongues. The Prophet , salla Allahu alihi wa sallam ,said: "He who guarantees, what is in between his jaws (tongue), and what is in between his thighs (private parts), I guarantee Paradise for him." [Al-Bukhaari]

This means guarding one's own tongue against uttering anything that displeases Allaah, and guarding one's own private parts against committing illicit acts or fornication.

Source: www.islamweb.net

Children (who did not reach puberty) are not commanded to fast. However, their parents or guardians are strongly recommended to encourage them to fast few days so that they get used to it and they grow up knowing of the worship of fasting as they would know that of praying. In fact this was the practice of the first women of Islam who were living around the Prophet, salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam.

An example of that is ar-Rubayya' bint Mu'awiyyah who reported that: "The Messenger of Allah,salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam, sent a man on the morning of the day of 'Ashurah, to the residences of the Ansar, saying: 'Whoever has spent the morning fasting is to complete his fast. Whoever has not spent this morning fasting should voluntary fast for the remainder of the day.' We fasted after that announcement, as did our young children. We would go to the mosque and make toys stuffed with cotton for them to play with. If one of them started crying due to hunger, we would give them a toy to play with until it was time to eat." [al-Bukhari and Muslim.]

Dear sisters and brothers remember that among the seven that Allah will shade under His shade on the Day of Judgment is a young man who grew up in the worship of Allah. Therefore let your children be one of these.

There are many ways to educate your children about Ramadan, the best and most important of which is to set the good example by fasting properly and behaving according to the Prophetic teachings. This is what your children will take from you first. When you are fulfilling this you can very easily [and they will accept it and practice it easily as well] teach them what you want. Here are few tips that you can use with your children [you can think of others as well]:

1. Depending on their age encourage them to fast a number of days upto every other day or more for those who are almost at the age of puberty. For those who are still young let them fast a day or two and praise them in front of friends and relatives for their achievement.
2. Let your children go with their father to the Masjid for Maghrib prayer and break the fast with the larger Muslim community to make them feel the greatness of fasting and the unity of Muslims in worshipping Allah.
3. If your children cannot fast let them eat with you at the time of Maghrib and teach them that you are breaking the fast even if they ate before.
4. Teach your children the supplication of breaking the fast
5. Take your children to the Taraweeh prayer so that they get used it and know about it from their early age. They may sit or stay in the back of the prayer room if they get tired.
6. Teach them to give charity. Do it in front of them and tell them you are doing it because the reward increases in Ramadan.
7. Teach them to recite Qur'an regularly and inform them that the Prophet (S) used to do that in Ramadan.
8. Correct them if they behave wrongly or say unacceptable words and remind them that they are fasting ot they are in Ramadan and this may alter their reward.
9. Wake them up for Suhoor [even if they don't fast] and Fajr prayer.
10. Teach them to feed the people fasting and tell them about the reward for that.
11. Dress them in the best clothes, give them a bath and take them with you to the Eid Prayer. Teach them that this is our feast and celebration and that christmas, easter, thanksgiving and other holidays are not ours. Stress the distinction.

It has been narrated on the authority of Ibn 'Umar that the Prophet (May be upon him) said: Beware. every one of you is a shepherd and every one is answerable with regard to his flock. The Caliph is a shepherd over the people and shall be questioned about his subjects (as to how he conducted their affairs). A man is a guardian over the members of his family and shall be questioned about them (as to how he looked after their physical and moral well-being). A woman is a guardian over the household of her husband and his children and shall be questioned about them (as to how she managed the household and brought up the children). A slave is a guardian over the property of his master and shall be questioned about it (as to how he safeguarded his trust). Beware, every one of you is a guardian and every one of you shall be questioned with regard to his trust.  (Muslim)

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