Part 5 (c): Backbiting: Heart Therapy

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Read Part 5 (b) : Anger Management

Backbiting (Ghibah)

Linguistic Definition: Ghibah, from the Arabic root word ‘ghayb’, [from gh-ya-ba which means ‘to be absent; hidden; remote and unseen]. This is because, often, when a person backbites another, he does so when the latter is not present.

Shari’a Definition: Abu Hurairah (RA) said that Allah’s Messenget (SAW) said, ‘Do you know what is backbiting?’ The Companions said, ‘Allah and His Messenger know best.’ Thereupon the Prophet said, ‘Backbiting is to talk about your brother in a manner which he does not like.’

Backbiting is only the thoughtless utter of a few words, light on the tongue but weighty in sin. It could lead a person to hellfire.

Speaking badly about a person in front of him or behind him in a way that he dislikes, is Ghibah.

Consequences: It is likely that the person who back bit another will be punished by being ordered, on the day of judgement, to eat from the flesh of the dead bodies of those whom he backbit, as they will be made to appear to him as such.

O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, indeed some suspicions are sins. And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allâh. Verily, Allâh is the One Who forgives and accepts repentance, Most Merciful. (49:12)

Also, two of the sahabah once criticised a man who had been punished for committing adultery. The Prophet, when he passed by the carcass of a donkey, said,“Where are those two? Get down and eat from the flesh of this donkey!” They said, “O Prophet of Allah! Who would eat this?” He replied, “What the two of you have recently done by defaming the honor of your brother is far worse than eating from this.” (Abu Dawud)

Look how the Prophet (SAW) defended the honor of a person who was punished for committing adultery and said that backbiting him was worse than eating from the flesh of the dead donkey! If this is the case, how about backbiting people who have not committed such a major sin? What about backbiting scholars or people who call to, or fight for, Islam?

Its Ruling: The scholars agree that it is haram to backbite a person without legitimate justification. The majority opined that this is a major sin. However it varies in degree, some kinds being worse than others as, for example, the one who backbites a scholar is not like the one who backbites an ignorant person.

Proofs

The Prophet (SAW) mentioned Ghibah alongside the unjust usurping of people’s wealth and murder in his statement regarding the 9th of Shul Hijjah, one of the most sacred days of the Islamic Calender, “Your blood, your property and your honor are sacred to you like the sacredness of this day, in this place, in this month.” (Bukhari) This wording only serves to illustrate the magnitude of the sin in the eyes of Allah.

The Prophet also stated, “One of the greatest major sins is to stretch out one’s tongue without right against the honor of a Muslim.” (Abu Dawud)

When A’isha (RA) said to the Prophet (SAW), “It should be enough for you to know about Safiyyah that she is such and such.”, implying that she is short, he replied: “You have said a wod that, if mixed with the water of the sea, would contaminate it.” (Tirmidhi)

Important Notes

The great scholar, Imam al Nawwawi, said in his book, Al Adhkar: “Mentioning about your brother something that he would dislike includes what concerns his body, his religious practice, his wordly station, his physical appearance, his moral character, his wealth, his parents, his children, his spouse, his servant, his clothing, his activities, his smiles and frowns and anything else that pertains to him.”

Abu Huraira reported Allaah’s Messenger (sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam) as saying: Do you know who is poor? They (the Companions of the Prophet) said: A poor man amongst us is one who has neither dirham with him nor wealth. He (the Prophet) said: The poor of my Umma would be he who would come on the Day of Resurrecton with prayers and fasts and Zakat but since he hurled abuses upon others, brought calumny against others and unlawfully consumed the wealth of others and shed the blood of others and beat others, and his virtues would be credited to the account of one (who suffered at his hand). And if his good deeds fall short to clear the account, then his sins would be entered in (his account) and he would be thrown in the Hell-Fire. (Muslim)

Hasan Al Basri, was once backbitted. Consequently, when he found out, he sent the backbiter a bowl of dates, saying, “It had reached me that you had gifted to me some of your good deeds so I wanted to repay you for that but I apologise that I am unable to repay you in full.” He is also reported to have said, “If I were to backbite against anyone it would be my parents; they are the only ones I would like to give my good deeds to.”

Justifying the Sin

Stating Facts: primarily, people justify their backbiting by asserting that they are simple stating facts, i.e. only telling the truth. In fact this is exactly what some sahabah though: they asked the Prophet, “Suppose that there are actual facts in the one I am talking about?” The Prophet replied, “If what you say about your brother is true, you are guilty of backbiting, but if what you say concerning him is not true, you are guilty of slandering him.” (Muslim)

Read the next part 5 (d): Why do People backbite?