Heart Strings

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The Degree of Longing

Allah says in the Qur'an:

“Whoever is looking forward to the meeting with Allah, then Allah’s term is surely coming and He is the All-Hearer, the All- Knower.” (29: 5)

“ I hastened to You, O my Lord, that You might be pleased.” (20: 84)

“When the night covered him over with darkness he saw a star. He said, ‘This is my Lord.’” (8: 76)

“The pleasure of giving pardon is followed by a praiseworthy outcome. The pleasure or taking revenge is followed by the bitterness of regret.” (Ali ibn Abi Talib)

“Longing for Allah is one of the signs of Love.”

“Longing is the journey of the heart to its beloved!”

“Longing, if exceeded, can lead to anger and thirst.” (Ibn al-Qayyim)

Prophet (saw) said: " No one should judge between two people when he is angry." (Bukhari)

Anger Management- 4 Styles od Handling Anger

Style A- Open Aggression

Uses physical and verbal force

It often leads to increased anger and more problems. This is not the right style of dealing anger.

Style B- Suppress Anger

Chose to pretend they are not angry. They hide the anger. Ignore the feelings. Hoping the anger will go away. This type of anger develops headaches, ulcers, stomach aches and other physical problems. Mostly women use it.

Style C- Possessive Aggressive

Chose to show their anger in indirect ways.
E.g. refuse to talk, bang the door, breaking things, etc.
This type of anger leads to increased anger.

Style D- Assertive Problem Solving

The best style. Chose to find out the anger reasons and solve it. Talk out the matter. Express anger in the most polite and kind way.

ACTS Technique

A-ware-Be aware of it. Do not let the feelings build in you.
C-ontrol-Controlling the response. Think before you act.
T-alk-Talk about the situation in a calm and assertive manner.
S-olve– Solving the problem. Come to a mutual agreement.

Talk (Win Technique)

W hen– When you did that, when you told that, when such a thing happened, etc
I–          I felt, I became upset, I got irritated, etc
N eed–  I need you to understand my feelings, etc

Ways to Limit the Effect of Anger

1. Seeking refuge with Allah from Satan.
2. Keeping silent.
3. Advice of Prophet (saw)- sit down, lye down, take wodhu.
4. Listening to reminders (audios, video lectures).
5. Knowing the bad effects of anger.
6. Knowing the high status offered to those who control anger.
7. Knowing that resisting anger is one of the signs of righteousness.

Strategies to Keep Anger

1. Breathe deeply from your diaphragm.
2. Slowly recite some Adhkar.
3. Use imaginary; visualize a relaxing experience.
4. Slow, calm movements, stretches to relax your muscles to stay calm.

To Talk:

Chose the right Time.
Chose the right Place.
Chose the right Manner.

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