Don’t make your Child too Dependent on You

Some parents believe that to love children means to do their work. They take excessive pity on the child and feel that as a parent it is their duty to do things for him. So at six years old a child is still be dressed by the parents. He is considered too young to tie his own shoes, or comb his hair. Such constant fussing over the child does not instill confidence and independence in the child. Rather it is selfish and irresponsible for a parent to allow their child to excessively depend on them.

A ten year old who never cleans his room, and lets mum or dad do it, will learn to always depend on others. This may also foster laziness, sloppiness and a lack of initiative. This problem seems to occur more with male children.

We need to understand as Muslim parents that we are raising the people that will lead the Ummah in the future. We don’t want to raise our children to be “mummy’s boys” or spoilt brats.

A wise parent knows that the best way to help a child is not do things for him, but to show him how to do them. Learning the skills of carrying out personal and household chores are an achievement often appreciated during the early years. A child who is not taught to do them when young, will be very unwilling to do them when older. Parents should help their children learn to do their own work, using the physical and mental powers that Almighty Allah has blessed them with.

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