5 Top tips on how to overcome the Inner Chatter

This is a follow-up post by Sister Khafayah to her original article on ProductiveMuslim “What’s holding you back?”. Sister Khafayah is a mother of four, works as a fulltime payroll manager, but more known for her great achievements as a DiscoverU LifeCoach. Her motto “Empowering the muslimah across the globe.” has been received warmly by all her clients who value her coaching sessions & have achieved success with the help of Allah followed by sister Khafaya’s unique coaching style. (Details of sister Khafayah found at the end of this article).

5 top tips on how to overcome the Inner chatter

We need to bring to the surface thoughts that play the same tune over and over in our minds. These thoughts range from; Natural doubts, past failures, fear of success, low esteem etc’, as well as your upbringing g and the past programming you have been subjected to have all accumulated into limiting beliefs’.

Here are 5 Top Tips! For ridding yourself of Inner chatter that does not benefit or serve you.

1. Reliance and trust in Allah

look to our greatest role models for encouragement, we need to put our trust in Allah 100 per cent, knowing that nothing can happen except by HIS will. Total trust in Allah will enable us to accomplish our wildest dreams. Hajar, Marayam, Soumaya and Asiya were all great resilient women full of drive and determination who put their trust in Allah.

Imagine you have been left in the middle of nowhere, no food, no shelter, security and a baby? How would you feel? Hajar asked Ibrahim (AS) “Has your Lord commanded you to this?” He replied in the affirmative “Yes”, then she said “ He will not abandon us”. It was her Tawwakul(Trust)that she put in Allah made her cope with such a difficult situation. Hajar embraced uncertainty, she felt the fear and accepted it.

Muhammad Ibn Abi Imran narrates that he heard someone ask Shaykh Hatim al-Asum how he reached to his level of reliance upon Allah. Shaykh Hatim al-Asum replied, “I became convinced in four things (i.e. that these four things penetrated my heart). One, I am convinced that no one else will eat the provision Allah has decreed for me, so I am content. Two, I am convinced that no one else is going to do good works except me, so I am busy doing them myself. Three, I am certain death shall come unexpectedly, so I am busying myself in expectation of it. And four, I am certain I shall never escape the sight of Allah, so I am shy to disobey Him while He is watching.”

2. Self- Indulged powerful statements of positive affirmation

Affirmations are positive statements that you speak out loud when you need encouragement. They are always formatted to accentuate the positive as if the desired results have already been achieved. So, if you are being held back by self-limiting belief that you’ll never be able to memorise the Qur’an , for example, you could start saying these affirmations:

· So far Allah is pleased with me I careless what anyone else thinks!

· No matter what happens, I can handle it

· Which favours of your Lord will you deny

· Just do it! Face it Head on!

· Allah will not burden the shoulder of HIS slave with what he cannot bear

· Allah knows I can handle it and that’s why HE has given me this test!

· I deserve the success that has come into my life.

Choose 3 top power statements that serve you, write them down and place them where you can see them always. If you repeat your affirmations several times in the morning, whenever you have spare time during the day, and again before you go to bed, you will be conditioning your self-conscious mind to start the process of making you successful by removing the inner chatter and barriers that are holding you back.

3. Befriend Fear

Fear of failure or success is the biggest and main obstacle that holds people back, and as a result we end up sabotaging ourselves unconsciously, at the same time hiding our self esteem. Don’t play the regret game. A great person once said “How do you know that the thing you are regretting isn’t the thing that led you to something great? There are no regrets except lessons to learn. Fear throws us off balance, giving us a sense of insecurity an uncertainty. You need to become fearless, just feel the fear and do it anyway. Whenever you walk through fear, you overcome an inner barrier that has held you back and you can now move on to new terriority. We will never exactly welcome fear, but we can learn to accept it as part of change. See your fear as an opportunity to grow and play to your strengths.

4. Commit to positive thinking!

Avoid statements such as “I can’t do it” instead start saying “How can I do this?” This way you will become more open to new possibilities and solutions. Notice the negativity in your attitude, i.e., such as, “Who will give me a job at this age?” Change it to “I will get a job at this age, how is this possible? “I feel powerless” replace it with “I empower myself by taking responsibility for my own life” Start exploring ways to make it come true! You will become more aware of your subconscious inner chatterbox and challenge the thoughts immediately.

5. Why? – think about why you are really replaying and looping a thought on over and over.

Ask yourself these questions;

· Is this thought you believe true? i.e. “I never complete a task”

· Can you absolutely say for certain it’s true?

· How do you react and feel when you believe this thought?

· If you did not have this thought, what would life be like? Close your eyes and look at your life without it, how do you feel?

· Turn this thought on its head by saying “I complete tasks!” Now how does that feel?

I will conclude with the following story;

A grandfather told his grandson, that inside all humans “There is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.”

“One wolf is evil and ugly: He is anger, envy, war, greed, self-pity, sorrow, regret, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, selfishness and arrogance.”

“The other wolf is beautiful and good: He is friendly, joyful, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, justice, fairness, empathy, generosity, true, compassion, gratitude, and deep VISION.

The grandson looked up at his grandfather and asked, “Which one will win?” The grandfather replied, “The one you choose to feed!”

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If you’re a sister and interested in being coached by sister Khafayah, build your self esteem, self-confidence, self worth by achieving your biggest dreams. Help banish beliefs that hold you back, get rid of procrastination,find direction and focus in your life and finally being the change you want to be! Then e-mail sister Khafayah NOW and book a lifecoach session with her. Quote ProductiveMuslim.com when you e-mail. Her e-mail is:Khafayah@discoverulife.com