The Four- Point Method of Decision Making

Read the previous part: The “Back Home” Syndrome

Most of us know what we want for ourselves, which is great.

It is good to be decisive. However, we cannot do everything ourselves, and sometimes we all need a little help.

1. Istishaarah (consulting others): It is very important to collect evidence and do your homework before approaching the most important decision in your life. So ask yourself the questions of compatibility previously mentioned, and please be honest with yourself.

Ask people who know the other person’s background; such as at work, school, masjid, and any     other place they have been or had dealings with others.

2. Istikhaarah (seeking the knowledge of Allah): Imam an-Nawawi rahimulla said, “In this (the narration about the istikhaarah of Zainab (ra) is a recommendation to make isthikhaarah for anyone who has a matter concerning him, whether the goodness in the matter be clear or not. It may be that she made isthikhaarah due to her fear that she might fall into some shortcoming in serving him (saw). (Sahih Muslim)

The manner of Isthikhaarah is as outlined in the Sunnah:

To offer a two rak’ah prayer (according to one narration from other than the obligatory prayers), then to make the following du’a.

“O Allah! I seek goodness from Your Knowledge and with Your Power (and Might) I seek strength, and I ask from You Your Great Blessings, because You have the Power and I do not have the power. You Know everything and I do not know, and You have knowledge of the unseen. Oh Allah! If in Your Knowledge this action ———————————————— (which I intend to do) is better for my religion and faith, for my life and end [death], for here [in this world] and the hereafter then make it destined for me and make it easy for me and then add blessings [baraka’] in it, for me. O Allah! In Your Knowledge if this action is bad for me, bad for my religion and faith, for my life and end [death], for here [in this world] and the hereafter then turn it away from me and turn me away from it and whatever is better for me, ordain [destine] that for me and then make me satisfied with it.”

3. Determination: After you have done your istishaarah and istikhaarah, you should act accordingly. However make sre that you get a clear sign, and that you do not have a preconceived idea about the matter.

4. Trust: If everything has fallen into place and you have committed yourself in good faith, then you should put your trust in Allah and not hesitate.

Read the next Phase: Phase 2- The Roadmap to Happy Beginnings- The Rules of Engagement