Part 5 (e): Prevention and Cure- Backbiting: Heart Therapy

Read the Table of Contents of Heart Therapy

Read Part 5 (d):Why do People Backbite?

The main cure against the disease of backbiting is to know that the backbiter will incur the wrath of Allah.

1. Reflecting on the statements of Allah and His Messenger regarding the speech of the Muslim: One should reflect on the censure that the Qur’an appropriates against the one who backbites and the praise it offers to those who restrain their tongues: “O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, indeed some suspicions are sins. And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allâh. Verily, Allâh is the One Who forgives and accepts repentance, Most Merciful.” (Q 49:12).

   The Qur’anic and Prophetic injunction is, that one should speak only good.

   Or do they think that We hear not their secrets and their private counsel? (Yes We do) and Our Messengers (appointed angels in charge of mankind) are by them, to record. (43:80)

   Whatever phrase he utters, an observer is present. (50:18)

   The Prophet (SAW) said, “Whosoever believes in Allah and the Last day, let him say good or be quite.” (Bukhari/Muslim)

   It is very dangerous to take what we say with our tongues lightly. It is very easy to flap our tongues but the consequences of that can be detrimental.

   This is why the Prophet (SAW) said, “When the son of Adam gets up in the morning, each of his limbs implore his tongue saying, “Fear Allah regarding us, because we follow you, if you go right we also go right but if you go wrong we also go wrong.” (Tirmidhi)

   In fact, if we are in gatherings in which Muslims are being backbitten, we should remember the statement of the Prophet (SAW): “Whosoever stops that which dishonors his brother, Allah will shield his face against the fire on the day of judgment.” (Tirmidhi)

   We all need the shield of Allah. So why is it that we do not rush to defend the honor of our fellow Muslims when people are attacking them?

   The Prophet (SAW) said: “Whosoever guards that which is between his jaws (tongue) and his two legs (private parts), then I guarantee his entrance into Paradise.” (Bukhari/Muslim)

2. Forgiveness from the one who has backbitten is essential for repentance to be accepted: It is a condition for the accepted repentance that one seeks forgiveness from the one whose right he has transgressed or whom he has oppressed. Allah’s forgiveness, in this case, is subject to the forgiveness of the one who has been wronged, and though Allah is the Most Merciful, the Ever Forgiving, His Mercy and forgiveness remain pending if the wronged party has not forgiven the backbiter. A person must bear this in mind before backbiting.

   Abu Huraira reported Allaah’s Messenger (sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam) as saying: Do you know who is poor? They (the Companions of the Prophet) said: A poor man amongst us is one who has neither dirham with him nor wealth. He (the Prophet) said: The poor of my Umma would be he who would come on the Day of Resurrection with prayers and fasts and Zakat but (he would find himself bankrupt on that day as he would have exhausted his funds of virtues) since he hurled abuses upon others, brought calumny against others and unlawfully consumed the wealth of others and shed the blood of others and beat others, and his virtues would be credited to the account of one (who suffered at his hand). And if his good deeds fall short to clear the account, then his sins would be entered in (his account) and he would be thrown in the Hell-Fire. (Muslim)

3. Introspection: Muslims should not backbite others but should concern themselves with their own faults. Were a person to preoccupy himself with his own faults of others insignificant in comparison.

   Al Hasan Al Basri said, “We used to remind one another that whoever faults his brother on account of a sin which had been repented from will be punished by Allah by falling into it (that very sin) himself.”

   This means: If we find a fault with our brother, we should advice him and guide him to eliminate his faults rather than vilifying him.

   Abu Hurairah (RA) said, ” One of you sees the dust in his brother’s eye but fails to see the crud in his own.”

   When we do not have time to think about our sins, how do we have time to talk about the sins of others??

4. Righteous Companionship: We should seek the company of righteous people as the Prophet (SAW) said, “The example of a good companion (who sits with you) in comparison with a bad one, is I like that of the musk seller and the blacksmith’s bellows (or furnace); from the first you would either buy musk or enjoy its good smell while the bellows would either burn your clothes or your house, or you get a bad nasty smell thereof.”(Bukahri)
5. Strong Resolve: One must make a firm and determined resolution to stop. Rasul Ibn Wahad said, “I swore an oath that for every time I backbite someone, I would fast a day. This just wore me out, since I would backbite and fast. Then I resolved that for every time I backbite someone, I would spend one silver coin in charity. Then, for the love of money, I gave up backbiting.”

Read the next Part 5 (f): Exceptional Circumstances- Backbiting