Part 6 :Namimah (Tale Carrying)- Heart Therapy

Read the Table of Contents of Heart Therapy

Read Part 5 (f): Exceptional Circumstances- Backbiting

Definition: This is to transmit the statements of some people to others intending to cause friction and enmity between them.

Example: If someone says about another Muslim that he is fat, short or anything else, that he would not like, and the person who heard that told that Muslim, who was spoken of, ‘So and so said that you are fat or short’ then this would constitute namimah.

Textual Evidence: Hudhayfah (RA) reported that the Prophet (SAW) said, “The one who carries tales will not enter Paradise.” [al-Bukhari and Muslim]

Social Repercussions

The threat of hell-fire is there because tale-carrying can have an enormous effect on society, causing rifts and enmity between brothers, families and friends. And although the first instance of ghibah (backbiting) is prohibited in the first place, it is still not correct to further spread what was stated. Rather, one should advise the one who is backbiting to abstain from what he is doing.

Understanding of the Early Generations

‘Umar ibn ‘abd al-‘Aziz

When a man came to ‘Umar ibn ‘abd al-‘Aziz, the great caliph, to inform him of what someone had said about another person, he [‘Umar] said, ‘If you wish we can verify this matter. If you have lied then you are from this ayah of the Qur’an: ‘O you who believe, when a sinner comes to you with news, verify it’, and if you have spoken the truth then you are from this ayah, ‘the backbiter who goes about slandering’. Alternatively, if you wish, we can pardon you.’ The main promptly replied that he would prefer to be pardoned and would never repeat this sin again.

‘Umar Ibn ‘Abdil-‘Aziz understood that if what the person had related was true, he would be a tale-carrier – and this is a sin – and if he had lied, he would have been a fasiq (a corrupt sinner) whose statements would need to be verified.

Al –Hasan al-Basri

Al –Hasan al-Basri once said, ‘If someone comes to you with the statements of others then know that he will go to others with your statements.’ In other words, if someone has this bad quality of tale-carrying and comes to you informing you that so-and-so said this about you, then he is likely to do the same with your statements. He will go to another person and say that you said such-and-such about him.

Dealing with Namimah

There are six things that a person should do if someone spreads namimah to them:

1. Not believe in the tale: This is because Allah says, “O you who believe, when a sinner comes to you with news, verify it”. The tale-carrier is a sinner, and in this ayah, Allah is prohibiting us from believing the statements of a sinner until they have been verified.
2. Give counsel and advice: He should enjoin the tale-carrier to desist from this sin and give him sincere counsel, hoping that he stops. Allah says, “And command good and forbid evil.”
3. Hate the sin and the perpetrator: He should dislike the one who carries tales as he is disliked ad hated by Allah. We should also dislike and hate those who Allah hates.
4. Maintain the best of expectations: He should not have bad thoughts about, or be suspicious of, his brother who is absent and whose speech the tale-carrier s claiming to be relaying. Allah says,

   “Keep away from much suspicion for some suspicion is sin”.

5. Avoid suspicion and tajassus (spy): “And do not spy” [49:12]

   The statements that have been related to him by the tale-carrier should not lead him to spy and try to find out if what was said is true or not.

6. Desist from spreading it further: He should not fall into doing what the tale-carrier did by spreading the statements to other people. Otherwise, he will end up committing the sin of namimah himself and could be liable to the same punishment as the first person who started carrying these tales.

Clean our hearts every night by not thinking ill about others.

We can never be happy if we have bad thoughts about others. When we talk about them, we remember their bad faults.

Our hearts must be filled with the remembrance of Allah.

Read the next Part 7: Hasad (Envy)