Rules for Raising Responsible Children

By Sheikh Ahmad Kutty

• A child is a gift of Allah; its mind is a blank slate; early impressions on it last a life-time. It is malleable and impressionable, either in good or bad.
• The greatest gift parents can give their children is to provide them a home which is conducive to their over all growth and development: a home where peace, love and harmony prevail.
• Children learn what they practice: if they practice love and mercy that is what they will practice; if they practice rivalry and competition and hostility, they learn to be violent, hostile and arrogant.
• Parents must inculcate love of Allah and love of the Messenger of Allah from the earliest years; children should be conditioned to develop an attitude of true gratitude for blessings and should be taught never to take even the simplest things for granted.
• Every child is a unique person: God did not make a duplicate of anyone. Each child deserves to be treated with dignity and respect.
• The worst thing parents could do to their children is to condemn them when they make mistakes.
• Do not compare one child against another; recognize the unique divine endowment in each child and seek to enhance or nurture the same in the best possible manner.
• Discipline the child with firmness and fairness. Never go overboard and do not let your emotion throw you off balance. Let the punishment be proportionate to the offence.
• Parents must present a united front. Never side with your child against your spouse, which will only be encouraging your child to use one parent against another.
• Learn to view things from your child’s perspective if you wish to have a balanced view of things.
• Never spoil your child by giving him everything he/she wants; let him/her learn to appreciate earning.
• Reward the child for good behaviour, and punish him for bad behaviour.
• Let the child learn the dignity of hard work
• No gift is greater than spending quality time with your children; you can put off anything in your life, but never miss your children when they are growing up.
• Don’t condemn a child for his/her misbehaviour, but correct him/her while taking care not to erode his self-esteem.
• Provide your child healthy outlets and ways of social interaction, but never allow him/her to hang around with bad company.