Etiquette with Close Relatives

A Muslim adheres to the same behavior and manners with his close relatives as he does with respect to his parents, children and siblings. He treats his maternal aunt like his mother and his paternal uncle like his father. He behaves in the same way toward his aunts and uncles as he does to his parents, with obedience, dutifulness and goodness. Everyone for which he and they share a common link of the womb is his relative, regardless whether he be Muslim or non-Muslim. It is then obligatory upon him to have good relations with them, treat them kindly and have goodness toward them. He must treat them in the same manner and with the same rights that he treats his father or child. He respects the elder among them and shows mercy for the younger among them. He visits them when they are ill. He pays them condolences when they are afflicted. He keeps his ties of relations with them even if they should cut them off. He is soft and gentle with them even if they should be harsh and hard with him. All of this he does in order to follow and obey what is stated in the following Hadith and verses:

“…And fear Allah through Whom you demand (your mutual rights), and (do not cut the relations of) the wombs (kinship).” (4:1)

Allah also says:

“And blood relations among each other have closer personal ties in the Decree of Allah…” (33:6) 

In another verse Allah says:

“Would you then, if you are given the authority, do mischief in the land, and sever your ties of kinship?” (47:22)

Again Allah says:

“So give to the kindred his due, and to Al-Miskin (the poor) and to the wayfarer. That is best for those who seek Allah’s Countenance; and it is they who will be the successful.” (30:38)

Allah also says:

“Verily, Allah enjoins Al-Adl (i.e., justice and worshipping none but Allah Alone-Islamic Monotheism) and Al-Ihsan giving (help) to kith and kin…” (16:90)

Yet another verse states:

“Worship Allah and join none with Him (in worship); and do good to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, Al-Masakin (the poor), the neighbour who is a stranger, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (you meet), and those (slaves) whom your right hands possess.” (4:36)

If we fulfill the rights of Allah, Allah will fulfill our rights and grant us jannah, insha Allah.

Allah also says: “And when the relatives and the orphans and Al-masakin (the poor) are present at the time of division, give them out of the property, and speak to them words of kindness and justice.” (4:8)

Allah’s Messenger (SAWS) said: Allah has said: “I am the merciful. As for the womb (Al-Rahm), I have derived its name from one of My names. Whoever keeps its ties, I shall keep his ties. And whoever cuts off, I shall cut him off.” (At-Tirmidhi)

Allah’s Messenger (SAWS) was asked about what deeds would take one to Paradise and keep one far from Hell and he answered:

“Worship Allah and do not associate anything with Him, establish the prayer, pay the Zakat and keep the ties of kinship.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

He was once asked about the maternal aunt and he said: “She has the same status as the mother.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

He (SAWS) also said:“Giving charity to the poor is an act of charity. Giving charity to a relative both an act of charity and an act of keeping the ties of skin.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Asma Bint Abu Bakr (R.A.) asked the Prophet (SAWS) whether she should keep ties of relationship with her mother who had come to visit her from Makkah and she was polytheist. He said to her: “Yes, maintain the ties of kinship with your mother.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

So even if our parents are non-muslims, we need to maintain ties with them and treat them kindly and honourably.